Facebook Cheats: How to Catch Him Che...

Facebook Cheats:  Signs of a Cheating Dude

Ok, your beau’s cell phone doesn’t ring at odd hours anymore; he doesn’t hurt his toe running to the bathroom to answer them, no more awkward moments when a text message comes through in your presence…Well, this could be enough to convince you that your dude has turned over a new leaf, cleaned up and become the patron saint of fidelity. But wait; before you switch off your surveillance cameras, hang your Sherlock Holmes’ uniform and dash to the nearest supermarket for that card you saw written , ‘I love you Joe, more than ever, sorry for ever doubting your love for me.’ Just take a few minutes to log into Facebook and click ‘Joe’s profile’ and there-in lies yo playboy’s hunting ground. His Facebook inbox is bursting with phone contacts, raunchy anecdotes, declaration of undying love, directions to some digs,  and ‘thank you’ notes for ‘those wonderful moments we spent together on Saturday nite’ etc etc. You won’t get access to his inbox unless Silicon Valley is your regular hang-out but still you can glean some info in his other public activities if you are smart enough.

Here are the twenty tell-tale signs of a cheating dude:

1.      He has more friends than is practical in real life. Majority being some fly bimbos you have never heard of.

2.      His profile is souped up to portray a cool guy. Some of the details are false for image boosting

3.      His comments are flattering, flirty and consistently limited to some ‘special’ ladies he is having crushes on. If they have something going already, the lady comments his updates with equal zeal  and lust

4.      Of course his profile reads ‘single’ yet you know he is in a relationship with you

5.      He hides his chats when you happen to be around

6.      He sometimes writes coded, incomplete or incoherent comments on his harem’s updates. The subject matter of the comment is oft-time unrelated to what the gal has written and is not understandable outside of the two. The gal’s response will be equally coded. Shows something is just too juicy to be shared with the world and that something is best kept protected from the rest of the world.

7.      When he or she is responding to his/her comment, he or she is always the first to be responded to: ‘@Joe, ya can’t touch this, lol! @Ken, idiot…’  NB: Joe is the numero uno on the response priority and so too in her heart.

8.      You are sometimes at a loss over his updates only for a certain lady, of course unfamiliar with you, to comment so knowledgeably about it and the guy to concur. The exchange may continue up to ten comments just between the two of them yet you don’t get what is going on.

9.      He is always the first to comment on that particular gal(s)’wall or post.

10.  He uses choice adjectives when commenting on some gal’s pics. ( Sexxy!, hooooot!, Juicy!, wow!, stunning!, I love that smile!, Ya gat some boobies in there babie! etc etc)

11.  Some careless dudes may use fancy words when commenting on a gal’s update (dear, babie, hun…)

12.  He seems to know what’s going on in the gal’s daily life, his comment will go like, ‘those fckn exams must be screwin ya up,’ yet the gal’s update was, ‘phew! Am tired,’

13.  Check his wall on his birthday and note who is waxing poetic (thank God, he created you on this day jus 4 me, Happy Birthday sugar!)

14.  Note the goings-on in his profile ‘Joe commented on Jane’s wall, Joe and Jane are attending blah blah, Joe posted something on Jane’s wall, Joe and Jane this, Joe and Jane that…’

15.  If you suspect a gal is darting with ya beau, check her profile name in ya boy’s phonebook and dialed numbers. If ya get, check the history and frequency of calls and there you have the gal who is making ya boy go gaga.

16.  If in a streak of madness he mistakenly and regrettably gave you his log-in password, go straight to inbox and get the shock of your life.

17.  In case he logs into Facebook using your phone and forget to log off; baby, please click inbox!

18.  Use your head. Love, lust and admiration are hardly concealable.

19.  Play him too. Better still, dump him. The asshole might not be worth you anyway.

20.  Good luck. Play fair.

 Safaricom and Equity Bank are shameless thieves! the M-Kesho thing is my brainchild. came up with it in 08 and forwarded it to both equity and safaricom through a third party...read the email below and NOTE the similarity with what they have come up with...I feel robbed! 

 

equity bank

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From:	kiprotich samoei ... Add to Contacts
To:	md@milelefm.co.ke; samboja@milelefm.co.ke; md@milelefm.com

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Business Plan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

benki yetu

 

anyboby, anywhere, any amount, any time

 

 

 

 

KIPROTICH BII SAMOEI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

28^TH APRIL 2008

The Business Profile
Description of My Business   BENKI YETU is a saving concept that utilizes airtime vouchers and network to save money bit by bit especially by the middle and low income earners. It entails a subscriber purchasing a scratch card of any amount and instead of loading it to an airtime account, sends it to a virtual account provided by a mobile phone service provider. This can be done by any body, at any time of the day, for any amount of money, any where in Kenya . A client accumulates his/her savings with time and can check his/ her saved amount by dialing a specific number to be provided by a service provider. To withdraw savings, you dial a specific number, offload your required money equivalent and go to a bank counter, say Equity Bank, to be paid.   BENKI YETU is simply taking chama and merry-go-rounds to the next level.
Targeted Market and Customers   About ten million Kenyans have mobile phones, yet less than a quarter of these people have any account with banks. Turning ten million mobile phone subscribers into bank accounts will spur a banking revolution in Kenya . Since Kenyans are poor savers, they will be encouraged to save with ease by BENKI YETU. More so, few Kenyans have no confidence to take fifty, a hundred or even five hundred shillings to the account. Besides, access to physical banks is limited in most developing countries. With BENKI YETU, a matatu tout, jua kali artisan, mama mboga, house girl, teacher, kiosk operator or anybody will simply walk into an airtime dealer, buy a scratch card and load his/her account with any amount, anywhere and at any time of the day without queuing or feeling abashed that he/she is saving very little.   Low and middle income earners who have no access to SACCOS, banking facilities or simply want to save with ease will obviously find a home in BENKI YETU.
Growth Trends In This Business   Banking is an industry on the move. The trend is to reach as many clients in the grassroot as possible. Having a mobile phone number doubling as a bank account achieves this ultimate goal with relative ease and consequently, a large customer base is guaranteed. Since the drift in the industry nowadays has moved from making profits through interest charged on loans to making money from bank charges and other levies charged on savings, BENKI YETU enjoys an edge for its large customer base will assure profitability.   BENKI YETU will enjoy enormous goodwill from the government because it will empower the rural poor.
Pricing Power   1.      Kenya is under-banked hence will explore a large untapped market. Market accessibility is the highest. 2.     Profits to be made on withdrawal charges. 3.      Deposits can easily re-invested. 4.     Saving is effortless and involuntary. Will attract a lot of savings 5.     Compared to other banks and micro-finance institutions, there is no limit to the service in terms of time, (any time is business hours), accessibility, no stress in opening an account, no queuing to deposit. 6.      Security costs and overheads on physical facilities are minimal. 7.     People in a social group will be competing to save as much as possible. They will be comparing their savings and striving to match each other.

 

 

 

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Sent from Yahoo! Mail.
A Smarter Email.

14 Years in Jail for Being Gay is Unn...

14 Years in Jail for Being Gay is Unnatural!

14 Years in Jail for Being Gay is Unnatural!

I received with shock and disbelief the news that Malawian gay couple, Steven Monjeza, 26, and Tiwonge Chimbalanga, 20, have been sentenced to a 14 year jail term without the option of a fine. What is the rationale for jailing two innocent young men to a fourteen year jail term for doing something that is neither injurious to the state, the environment or other persons for that matter. 14 years behind bars for homosexual acts is harsh, disproportionate and illegitimate. What of a ‘crime’ that is legal in other countries, including their southern neighbor, South Africa!

Judge Nyakwawa Usiwa-Usiwa convicted both men of engaging in gay sex which he said was "against the order of nature". Who defines what is natural or unnatural? At one time in the history of the world, a union between a black and a white man were unnatural in colonial Africa and in the US before the civil rights. Now it is commonplace. In less than ten years, homosexuality will be widely accepted. Malawi should have based their judgment on world trends and some semblance of foresight and not to act like Malawi is a social island. In the near future, Malawi will be forced to apologize to the two gay couple for usurping their rights and liberty to live their lives according to the dictates of their natures. This is an illegal confinement at best. Malawi will hang her head in shame for negating the rights of minorities and promoting homophobia.

I am surprised that the president, Mr Bingu wa Mutharika, who is obviously more exposed than any other average Malawian given he was once a top World Bank official, did not see it fit to intervene. 14 years for consensual sex between adults, irrespective of its nature is just too much. Two guys, with their lives ahead of them, to waste their prime lives in squalid Malawian jails crawling with sods is unwarranted and uncalled for. It is simply undeserved. I am not gay but I am ashamed of this.

For a state to confine her productive citizens wantonly to long jail terms in the name of defending public morality shows a lack of priority and seriousness. Malawi is one of the poorest countries on earth, if they could prosecute corrupt government officials with the same zeal and zest, fight poverty with the same fervor, her citizens would be living better lives, it is a pity they are interested in investing their energies in trivialities.

Malawi has made social martyrs of these two guys. I hope their suffering will not be in vain. I hope it will encourage a sober debate on homosexuality in Africa that in turn will lead to respect of minority rights by state and citizenry.