Facebook Cheats: How to Catch Him Che...

Facebook Cheats:  Signs of a Cheating Dude

Ok, your beau’s cell phone doesn’t ring at odd hours anymore; he doesn’t hurt his toe running to the bathroom to answer them, no more awkward moments when a text message comes through in your presence…Well, this could be enough to convince you that your dude has turned over a new leaf, cleaned up and become the patron saint of fidelity. But wait; before you switch off your surveillance cameras, hang your Sherlock Holmes’ uniform and dash to the nearest supermarket for that card you saw written , ‘I love you Joe, more than ever, sorry for ever doubting your love for me.’ Just take a few minutes to log into Facebook and click ‘Joe’s profile’ and there-in lies yo playboy’s hunting ground. His Facebook inbox is bursting with phone contacts, raunchy anecdotes, declaration of undying love, directions to some digs,  and ‘thank you’ notes for ‘those wonderful moments we spent together on Saturday nite’ etc etc. You won’t get access to his inbox unless Silicon Valley is your regular hang-out but still you can glean some info in his other public activities if you are smart enough.

Here are the twenty tell-tale signs of a cheating dude:

1.      He has more friends than is practical in real life. Majority being some fly bimbos you have never heard of.

2.      His profile is souped up to portray a cool guy. Some of the details are false for image boosting

3.      His comments are flattering, flirty and consistently limited to some ‘special’ ladies he is having crushes on. If they have something going already, the lady comments his updates with equal zeal  and lust

4.      Of course his profile reads ‘single’ yet you know he is in a relationship with you

5.      He hides his chats when you happen to be around

6.      He sometimes writes coded, incomplete or incoherent comments on his harem’s updates. The subject matter of the comment is oft-time unrelated to what the gal has written and is not understandable outside of the two. The gal’s response will be equally coded. Shows something is just too juicy to be shared with the world and that something is best kept protected from the rest of the world.

7.      When he or she is responding to his/her comment, he or she is always the first to be responded to: ‘@Joe, ya can’t touch this, lol! @Ken, idiot…’  NB: Joe is the numero uno on the response priority and so too in her heart.

8.      You are sometimes at a loss over his updates only for a certain lady, of course unfamiliar with you, to comment so knowledgeably about it and the guy to concur. The exchange may continue up to ten comments just between the two of them yet you don’t get what is going on.

9.      He is always the first to comment on that particular gal(s)’wall or post.

10.  He uses choice adjectives when commenting on some gal’s pics. ( Sexxy!, hooooot!, Juicy!, wow!, stunning!, I love that smile!, Ya gat some boobies in there babie! etc etc)

11.  Some careless dudes may use fancy words when commenting on a gal’s update (dear, babie, hun…)

12.  He seems to know what’s going on in the gal’s daily life, his comment will go like, ‘those fckn exams must be screwin ya up,’ yet the gal’s update was, ‘phew! Am tired,’

13.  Check his wall on his birthday and note who is waxing poetic (thank God, he created you on this day jus 4 me, Happy Birthday sugar!)

14.  Note the goings-on in his profile ‘Joe commented on Jane’s wall, Joe and Jane are attending blah blah, Joe posted something on Jane’s wall, Joe and Jane this, Joe and Jane that…’

15.  If you suspect a gal is darting with ya beau, check her profile name in ya boy’s phonebook and dialed numbers. If ya get, check the history and frequency of calls and there you have the gal who is making ya boy go gaga.

16.  If in a streak of madness he mistakenly and regrettably gave you his log-in password, go straight to inbox and get the shock of your life.

17.  In case he logs into Facebook using your phone and forget to log off; baby, please click inbox!

18.  Use your head. Love, lust and admiration are hardly concealable.

19.  Play him too. Better still, dump him. The asshole might not be worth you anyway.

20.  Good luck. Play fair.