sex anonymous!

SEX ANONYMOUS

Goddam shit! That red g-string really haunts me men. Such messy stuff a combination of alcohol n pussie produces. I wish I would have stuck with my Tusker rather than drink spirits in a strange town. Have lost count of the number of times I have promised my stupid self never to touch this substance. Ouch! This pain sucks! I must have rolled downstairs or those dogs must have dragged me. But I believe I gave someone a good punch. Otherwise my fist should not be smarting like this. I hate bouncers. I am lucky though, fighting with unschooled bumpkins can be disastrous. It wasn’t funny men. That thing was real bad. Holy shit, I did a good job of cheating those thick cops. Otherwise it would be a different story now: assault causing real bodily harm, drunk and disorderly, destruction of property, disturbance of the peace….and what else those sick coppers could conjure up with their limited legal parlance. I hate cops with all my living soul. I should own a gun soon, legal or illegal, preferably an automatic. Don’t believe in killing people but cops are not human beings. They are a different species that biologist are yet to name. And that bitch wasn’t even worth a fight. Don’t even remember what the hag looked like but can recall grapping her tits. Funny! Every bitch has got its owner. Even those whom the devil created in his own very image. Alcohol is fuckin bad. Real hard fuckin bad!

Forget this pain anyway. It is such a small issue now. Have to concentrate with this shrink or counselor or doc or whatever they would like to be called. And this waiting room is so big; it would have made such a nice pub. God, I need a beer to work up my nerves. Alcoholism is in the genes. I read somewhere in some journal.

There is a sweet chick seated next to me. I wonder what has brought her. She is in such a dismal mood I can’t dare disturb her. My reveries are better. She seems to be lost in such a ghoulish trance. Or else what would contort a chick s face in such an angle?

If you would like to know that people can get serious, visit a VCT centre. Even the slim guy seated next to me is so deeply worried he should just die. The lady is ushered in. Noticed she had such a sweet derriere. Reminded me of ma ex. Ma best when it come to asses that is. Otherwise there is a harem of others with various but specific attractions too. Boobs (am a sucker for boobs, God! love them big) eyes, lips, legs, thighs, hair and other features God factored in a woman to disturb men. That gal had a bum to die for. I wonder what my mum would have said, had she met her. Maybe she would have been jealous or something. You never know with women, your mum included! The wiry guy is lead into the next room.

Am wishing that I be let into a room with a pretty-pretty gal, young at that. Don’t like discussing ma life with men, especially the sexual department. They can’t help anyway. Am not queer. You see, women could benefit by learning something men. Be they sex counselors or not. You can easily win their compassion. Even lay them. Life is like that. You never know the source of your next pussie unless you are thick.

The cheap clock on the wall struck three. This government guys are thieves. Am sure someone filed some wild returns that they bought this clock for a thousand shillings or even more. In a country where everybody is a fraud, rationality is a rare commodity. You find it in slums, not government offices. The lady with a knobby face walks out; her face looked just the same as I last saw her. These counselors don’t do nothing. How come that gal didn’t get better or worse? I doubt their education level, bet they are River Road grads and the minister of health must be from their village or most likely she pussied her way here. Pussie buys anything. Especially jobs. Forget what you see in porn. Those are second rate. There is real porn in high offices that never get to your attention. Especially if you are poor. Poverty is a serious disease. It precludes you of not only luxury but even information. Good gossip doesn’t come cheap. I tell you. After seeing that bitch’s face, I decided without anymore debate that I won’t take the test. No need to stress maself when I can avoid it. The bliss of ignorance.


Some hideous gal gave me a gummy smile and let me into some room. That smile wasn’t worth reciprocating, besides, am a firm believer in putting people where they belong. I aint such a nice guy. That am sure.

A lady with a red mini-skirt is seated facing some table to the wall. On the table are some boxes with some apparatus and papers. Reminded me of my high school lab. Several years ago. Was dating ma first gal. Claudia. Shy bitch in class eight, across the fence. But she was not a virgin. Neither was I. Claudia gave me ma first ride to the clouds nonetheless. Em days of sweet innocence. HIV was a rumor.

The chick swung from her chair to face me. Mary Mother of Jesus! That gal had thighs that could kill God the Almighty! This is the masterpiece thighs. Others are counterfeits. My tongue itched for a licking encounter. I could feel my dick rise at once in ma jeans. At that instance I confirmed I was not going to get tested. Who? Mee? Never! I want to lay this bitch. I wonna hear her scream. She rose and pointed a seat for me. I stood still for some seconds then regained my composure. I shoved ma ass to some settee in the corner and she came with some papers and sat next to me. Facing me. Looking at me. Exploring me with her lazy eyes. Oh my holy shit! Did she have boobs? Her nipples were begging for attention, the left one was bigger. I could die!

‘Hi and welcome to the community VCT centre, my name is Angela’ she told me in a sexy voice

‘Thenkx ma, ma name is Deeplow. Ts cool mirring yo’ I responded in a humble voice that was so hard to muster.

“Hey! you got such a strange name even though it is a policy to maintain the identity of our clients as anonymous as much as possible. Good to know your name though am sure I might forget it the next minute. Ok, How can I help you?’ she said with a trained smile they welcomed you with in a Five Star hotel. Very reassuring. Maybe she thought I was still interested in getting tested for this damn thing called HIV. Wished she could know that she had changed ma mission from stoking trouble to a simple lay.

‘Me is gat lotsa prolems ma. Dunno whera you cuu hulp me’ I said with subdued confidence to reflect that ma problems were dire.

“I am here to help you as much as I could. That is why we are here. The first step is you to express yourself as much as possible so that I can figure out what to do.’’

‘Thenkx ma. Well, I thought I nirred professional help to put ma sex life together. It is in shit ma. Real big shit. Am nut amused abourrit one lirl bit. AIDS aint a jook. Its lyk I have had too many chicks than is gud or normo. Think am addicted to flings or something lyk tha. Think I gorra fixit. Have tried before but flunked severally. Could you help me with thet. Its fuckin kreizy. Even now am tryin nut to have a hit on yer. Yer see, I cant resist gals. Twasnt always lyk thet. Think I hengd around the wrong guys.’ I said with a serious tone.

‘Aha haa haa, don’t say you already getting ideas with me, you can’t be serious!’ she laughed as she faced up, pushing her tits up in the process. Yellow full killing tits. Ma dick tightened harder. It hurt.

Talking sex is infectious. Now I know. Even people who are supposed to fight it can’t resist it. I thought.

‘I mean dear. Am serious. Wonna see ma fly? It’s bulging up”

‘No nooo. Not with me. Not now, not here. Remember you wanted help to fix that,’ she tried faking seriousness but could not make it. Immediately I felt triumphant. Those words betrayed someone who would not mind a lay. I had managed to change the atmosphere to be amorous.

‘Ahkey , ahkey, pls take ther as a jook. Dirrnt mean to. Sooo, what do you advise me then, I fuckin need some hulp’ I feigned shame and composure.

‘You speak nice English, where did you learn all that? That aside, are you sure you don’t need a test? Would really advise you to undergo that first. I will first have to counsel. Some people .Most. Are scared about it but it is not life and death. In case of anything you can still live a normal life.’ She deadpanned.

‘I surely don’t need no mutherfuckin tests. Am sure I aint gat nuh Aids but in case I garrit, it is the work of the post mortem guys, when am dead. Doiven try convicin me. Dowonna take that shit. Am shore. Just gimme the fuckin counseling n maby drugs to screw ma liking for chicks. This o I need for nao. If it daent waak out. I wi cam beck soon n letchu know.’ I said with finality

‘Ok, no problem. If you are not ready, then I am not going to force you into it. Well, counseling to quit sex might take some time. Hope you will be disciplined enough to adhere to the rules. We don’t have a sex rehab where we could confine you. It is a relatively new field. Its success will mainly depend with your full cooperation. There is no sex anonymous community to support you either. You really have to put a lot of effort. It is not totally insurmountable if you are committed.’

‘ Now that you are not for testing, let me get you some form to fill’ she rose steadily but not too careful so that I saw her pink panty( wish all ladies could be in pink panties, it really kills me) she swaggered , her high heels making sure her curvy ass swing in voluptuous rhythms. She retrieved some papers and came back smiling. Didn’t know that these people are relieved when nobody is getting tested. It is such a relief for all parties concerned. Or maybe she was sure that she has hooked up a hunk for the evening. Could not figure out what was going in her stupid skull.

Angelicious pulled a chair next to a table not far and beckoned me to it. She gave me a pen and stood beside me as I read the form, her boobs touched me as she bent to show me. Hard, firm, warm, hot, I just pushed back to relish in the hardness and expectedly, she didn’t resist. I savored the encounter for sometime and for once I was tempted to stand, take down ma pants and put ma cock in her boobs. I beat the temptation and decided to be serious for once in my life.

‘Could you find yerself a seat? Yer will get tired standin hii all tha time. Think I have known how to fill this thing, maby yer cuu come we summarize’ I told her in a serious tone

‘No, you might need some little help and I will get tired more by coming here and going there. Just fill it fast in case there is someone waiting’ there was some anger in her voice.

Lesson one: this broad does not take rejection kindly. I was surprised and decided to take my mind out of her breath and tits. Men! It wasn’t easy. But I had to try. At that instance, she beeped out of the door, liked what she saw, locked the door and told me I was the last client for that day so I could take my time. She resumed her position behind me and pushed her boobs harder on me.

I thought maybe to cure sex overdose in your life you needed more. She knew better. She was a professional. I was not. I skipped instructions, disclaimers blah blah and went ahead to fill the form. I decided that I will put a P.S reading: I filled it under the influence of boobs! Had a mind to do it.

I filled the motherfucking form thus;

Name:

Deeplow Hard (my mum had given me other names but they weren’t sexy, had to change men, besides, I am a global citizen and don’t want those shameless tribalists to discriminate against me)

Address:

P.O. Box 1600000000065 GPO Nairobi (I love zeros; they differentiate good bucks from chicken feed)

Profession:

Business by training, hustler by default, writer by career, (you guys should check my blogs, they are hot men) I moonlight as a gynae (this is one hobby/habit I would like to kick out with your help, have too many occupations already) drunkard, talker etc

Personality:

warm, humorous, witty, crackpot, cocky, brashy when having money, outgoing, don’t take no shit, happy-go-lucky, charming, charismatic, easy going, go-getter ( in short I am all that J.F Kennedy was. Everything. Add a little but take nothing) I am a playboy!

Interests:

Too many. Politics, women (ending from today), reading, writing, world affairs, business trends, entrepreneurship, money and music ( rock, rap, techno, pop and soul)

Present addictions:

Cunt (new), alcohol, facebook chats, city life, BBC, and VOA (love the voice of Kim Louis and Caroline Castielle,) CNN ( I blame it on Monita Rajpal) CNBC ( blame it on my fetish for Erin Burnett) I am international babie! Can’t stand the local bullshit. Am informed like shit, in fact I am a polymath.

Income level:

Comfortable to almost affluent – I knew I was lying, in fact am a broke ass.


Marital status:

I consider myself single but people are free to think about anything. Don’t real much care what every nitwit in the street think. The women I sired children with would tell you am married but ma gals will tell you am single. Very. It depends on which side of the sexual divide you are. Either way, am least concerned. They can take a plunge into the sea.

Religion:

Wish I could believe in God. Not that easy. No.

Orientation:

Can only be straight. I don’t really much care what people do with their asses, dicks n pussies. It is theirs in any case. I am not a prefect for the society. Unless somebody wants to be paying me for the job.

Family background:

Brought up in a not so close-knit family, a hard working and loving mother but with an absent and drunkard womanizing father. Religion was not discussed, and has never been discussed. I basically don’t know whether they are Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Atheists, Jews, Agnostics or Animists. My guess lies with the last two.

Years of addiction:

The dividing line between normal and addictive sex is indeed very difficult to draw. Even though am the subject, I find it really hard to tell. This is one of the issues I am seeking professional help.

I signed to be cooperative as much as possible and to avail ma ass when called upon.

All the while, Angela was continuing her sexual offensive on me. She didn’t notice what I wrote because she would have sought some clarifications on some of the wild information I was providing.

It was now my turn to return the advances. It was around six thirty in the evening by the time I was done.

It was drizzling outside. In the tropics, rain inspires a feeling of snuggling close to something. The tap tap tap sound on the roof made me wild. I pretended to sit back and hold one of the legs of the chair but extended my fingers to her legs. It was a double assault because my shoulders were now pressing on her boobs harder. I caressed her legs furtively as if by accident. She didn’t move. My experience with women has taught me that whenever there is no opposition in one level then you are free to move to the next level. I groped with my hands up her thighs. The warmer it got. Her pulse through her right tit got faster. Her breath became intense. I moved my fingers up and up her skirt till I touched the lining of her panty. She parted her legs in response as if to invite me to finger her. I did exactly that. There was a low moan. Her pussie was already juicy and warm. I rose and hold her close to me and kissed her lips. She was an expert kisser. She worked me crazy with her tongue. We fell on the settee near by. I undid her top with a rare impatience.

I seized her nipples, one hand each. Squeezed them and then decided to greet them with a kiss, then a suck and finally nibble them. Her eyes were closed but her mouth was opening and shutting in slow motion as if she was biting the pleasure bit by bit.

‘Deeplow! Boy! Please, please…do me some justice if you are a real man. Please boy, dip your dick into me .I beg you…ayah aaaaah oooaaaah, please! ’

I lifted her sweet skirt n removed her pink panty. The sound it made drove me nuts. I love the sound of panty as it is removed. It signifies victory on my side and complete surrender on her side. I love the sound that panties make as they are removed. It fires my passion, rejuvenates my libido and invigorates my energies before the action.

‘Deeplow! Please, do it nnnooow sssssss aaaaaaaa, aaaaaaa!’

I licked her yellow thighs slowly and slowly, up I marched, grandly to the Promised Land. I got to her well shaven pussie and something snapped in me, I was possessed, I sucked her clit into my mouth and she screamed. The whiff that hit ma nose as I did this made me almost scream…God!

I ripped open ma fly and lowered both my panty and jeans down and pulled out my long suffering dick.