Crazed-up 2010 Resolutions

Having made a myriad of resolutions that I hardly keep come 2nd of January every year, I have decided on a new version of resolutions for 2010 and beyond.

You see, whenever I write a good resolution, I do it bad. I have now discovered myself. My fate seems to work inversely. This year, I will write it bad so that I do it good. Very simple!

1. My relationship with God

God, this year, I don’t care what you do with me or yourself. I am so pissed off with your lies. You don’t do nothing for me. I don’t care whether you prefer Pepsi to Coke or whatever. Whether you smoke, have sex and do drugs like me, I don’t give a damn. 2010, you are out of mind. I am warning you, Just leave me alone. Don’t wonna step in any of your churches, and don’t visit me either! Ok old geezer?

2. My love life

I don’t need a fuckin relationship this year. Don’t wonna say ‘I love you’ for a single moment. I don’t wonna promise to love nobody. I am gonna stick it on anybody with a pussie! 2010, anything goes. Will shove it on anything!

3. My health

This year, I will eat bad as always, never go to the gym, and gain weight if my body feels like it. Never go for a check-up to save on money. Doctors are thieves. I am gonna grow wild like a tree.

4. Drinking

Drink. Driiiink. Driiiiiiiiiiink…. Whisky, Vodka, Gin, Bourbon, Wine, Beer, Bootleg and anything that can make me misbehave, horny, stupid and silly. 2010 is the year of alcohol! So help me Satan!

5. Money

I don’t wonna change nothing. 2010, I am gonna be a slacker, scrounge and bum. I don’t wonna do anything with my stupid self. Won’t be lookin for a job because I won’t get it anyway. Whatever money I get, I should spend it with a vengeance. Money, I don’t need you around me! Ok?

6. Bad habits

2010, I Will keep up with all my terrible habits. Not making my bed, not washing my panties and socks, and swearing while talking will be continued. Being showy and proud will be enhanced. Whatever bad habit that I can pick and cannot help will be encouraged. I just will not care a hoot.

7. General

I don’t wonna learn how to drive or swim. I will never be a better listener. It is fun to be a lousy company. I won’t get a passport either.


I sanction the devil to remind me all that I haven’t mentioned so that I may effect them in the New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!