The Year 2009: a Eulogy

The year 2009 was the last born daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Noughties of 21st Century County, 1st Decade Street.

She attended First African American US President Barrack Obama Inauguration Primary School, Michael Jackson Death Secondary School and Copenhagen Climate Change Conference University.

She worked at UK MPs Expenses Scandal Company in London and Iranian Election Rigging and Post Election protests, Ethnic Uighurs Suppression of China, and the Afghan Election Rigging Debacle.

She last starred in Avatar movie and before that, she played major roles in the movie Sylvio Berlusconi Sexcapades; the 18 Year Olds and 30 Prostitutes, and received an Oscar for Tiger Woods and the Eleven Mistresses.

She was the maid of honor at the Nobel Prize for Peace Undeserving Obama Award Ceremony.

A renowned musician, she produced music with the Roger Federer 16 Grand Slam and Usain Bolt Lightning Pace Records and a brief stint with Castor Semenya Controversial Sex Record of SA.

As Lady Luck, she piloted a safe crash at the Hudson River and wrestled down a Nigerian terrorist who wanted to detonate a bomb on a US flight bound for Detroit.

She is sister to the late Jade Goody and the late Ted Kennedy.

Earlier in the year, she was diagnosed with H1N1 virus of which she recovered. Later she was attacked by Somali Pirates and a ransom of several millions of dollars was paid in ransom.

The Market Depression, Downturn, Job Loss and Foreclosure diseases occasioned by poor regulatory practices, subprime mortgages, exorbitant executive bonuses and hedge funding in Wall Street dogged her health until death.

She was treated by Dr. Stimulus Package, DR. Bailout and DR. TARP (Troubled Assets Relief Program), all of Washington. They said that her disease could be inherited by subsequent generations.

She is survived by a beautiful daughter called Happy New Year 2010! who is to be here with us shortly.

R.I.P 2009!