Indian Men don’t Measure up Below the Belt!

A two year study by Indian Council of Medical Research found that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.


This report is damning! I can’t imagine that the raunchy Indian queens I have long lusted for have to do with match sticks for dicks. I have always dreamt of lifting a sari and giving those Bollywood types a hard ride. Now that I know the chances that they are sexually deprived are high, this urge has more than tripled. I feel like an Indian pussie!



I empathize with my Indian brethrens though. My only prayers are:

I. Hope God remembered to create equally small pussie holes, otherwise your women are cursing instead of moaning. It is pretty hard to differentiate the two,

II. That some expatriate dick has not entered the holes you are about to enter. Woe unto you if the said expat dick is of an African, these guys are particularly blessed! And

III. That your women have not read those western stuff with screaming refrains that ‘size matter!’ otherwise as Muslims make their pilgrimage to Mecca, at least once in a life time, then your women are also saving for pilgrimage to where real dicks are, for once in a lifetime!

I had read some rare and juicy story recently about Mr. Tiwari, the governor of the southern Indian state of Andhra Pradesh who resigned after a regional channel aired footage of him in bed with three women. Three women in bed is tantalizing! For an 86 year old is way too extra ordinary! Am looking for that footage to confirm the size of the machine involved.

And, how is the dildos market in India doing? My hunch is; it is a roaring business.

Hey, come on ladies! Don’t forget that India is the home of Karma Sutra; this country has a lot to offer sexually; don’t cancel your sex trip to Mumbai!

By the way, what is it with politicians and three Asian women in Bed? Remember Sani Abacha, former Nigerian dictator, died of sex overdose while having a romp with three Asian women. Is this number jinxed? Somebody in India educate me please!



P.S

Also coming out of Asia, a Japanese company is selling what they call ‘The Boyfriend's Arm Pillow’. You see, this pillow is shaped like a man's torso with one sturdy arm. In case you are alone, tired of men in general, their snores in particular and specifically their sexual demands, this pillow is all you need. They forgot to fit a dildo though; you will not have needed a man forever. Will talk to them to consider this addition.

The price would not give you sleepless nights either. For a good nite sleep, a woman can easily fork out 8,500 Yen (£40, $80). That’s the price you pay to do away with Joe.

It is available in your favorite color of blue, pink or green. Nice, aint it?